Thanksgiving in Three Voices
Wendy Brown-Baez
Michael: In November we traveled:
Las Cruces, Silver City, Rome.
My birthday fell on
Thanksgiving or the day before or the day
after, so we left, split the
scene. Sometimes
I didn’t know where we
were headed
until we drove out
of the parking lot
Wendy: He said he didn’t want presents
but you knew he would be hurt it if
you forgot. One year I had an espresso
machine shipped to him, I figured he was Italian,
why not? I was visiting in Minneapolis then,
before grand-children or grief.
Michael: I told her I wanted to send it back,
I didn’t want it. When she got home, I made
her a cup----
Wendy: He couldn’t live without it----
Michael: My lament was
send it back, I don’t want it:
my downward spirals,
the jobs that didn’t exist,
ordinary reality,
the road to aging ahead,
her domesticity,
this life, especially this life, I thought it was mine
to take it or leave it and all I wanted
was to go.
Michael & Alejandro: Send her back
Alejandro: to me. Remember
we slept with our souls intertwined
and I became her husband then.
to Michael: What does that mean
for better or for worse….
Wendy: I changed from widow to wife
in such a short time. But I took him on
that night, some nameless border town
hotel when I realized what he intended
Alejandro: I mixed the blue pills with the white,
I had bought a bottle of tequila,
I was thirsty and ready
to go, I asked her to let
me swim out to sea…
Wendy: We hadn’t eaten all day, peeing in the
scrub by the side of the
highway. I had nothing
in my stomach but the
shot of tequila,
not even a lime. We found a
cheap hotel, nameless.
I unpacked his boxers like a pajama
party.
(to Alejandro) You can’t go, you can’t do this
to me, I have been here before
(Alejandro & Wendy face each other)
Alejandro: The pills were gripped in my left hand
Not the hand gripping yours
Alejandro & Wendy: We were lost in a dark wood, we didn’t
know where we were, there were no signs, only the
ribbon of road, hundreds of miles in the darkness,
a night of betrayal:
we were running for home
Wendy: And do you dare ask that I let
you swim out to sea? I have been
here before. Every Thanksgiving
we faced that temptation. He would say
let me go
Wendy & Michael: send me back
Michael: When I turn 50 it will change.
When we get to Mexico it will change
When we get to Rome, it will change
Send me back, it will change
Wendy: In Italy we drank grappa by the
sea in a village tavern.
I was catching a cold, my period had
come, I had lost patience, I was fed up
with his family.
We had Thanksgiving at the air force
base, it was turkey and gravy,
it was sweet potatoes
with marshmallows,
it was America.
I wanted pasta and amor, I wanted to
be alone in a velvet room, I wanted kisses
and promises.
Michael: I had the diamond ring
in a box. My father bought it
before he died. My mother said
give it to her if that
is what you want.
When I showed it to her, I said,
it doesn’t mean we’re engaged.
Wendy: I didn’t know whether to
laugh or cry We slept together
eight years, I call myself his widow.
(to Alejandro:) You call me your wife
and we slept together once, the pills
under our pillow. I wrapped
myself around you, I conquered
your blackness, I said no
you can’t and it is time to sleep. In the
morning I wanted pan dulce
y café con leche. We left that hotel,
we left that town, we got back in the car,
we were looking for home.
Michael: I never said I would stay
I never said I could make it
I never intended that you would be hurt
Alejandro: I exist without making promises,
we set back out on the road,
the sun was
blinding, we were
running for home.
Michael & Alejandro: For richer or for poorer,
In sickness and in health
Wendy: The diamond went to my
daughter-in-law. She didn’t know
it had cut my heart into pieces.
(to Alejandro) Did we marry like it was a game?
Did you bring all of your lovers to the
ceremony, all the boys, the men, the girls,
your youthful folly, your adult yearning,
you hated to admit you needed me.
The judge asked me to say, “Til death do us part”
I repeated those words. You will not
make me a widow twice. I have been here
before.
I took off my wedding ring the day
we quarreled, he sent it back in a
green box. A simple circle,
paper signed, vows made in the
afternoon. He didn’t believe it but I knew
we were running for home
Michael & Alejandro: For better or for worse
Til death do us part
Wendy: This Thanksgiving, I want to drink grappa
with the monks, make a
pilgrimage to the monastery.
A & W together:
Alejandro: I stayed behind
Wendy: He stayed behind in Mexico
Alejandro : she took the plane
Wendy: I took the plane back to Albuquerque.
Alejandro & Wendy: We cried when we said
good-bye, we were torn asunder, we
had fused into one person.
Wendy: This Thanksgiving I will feast
on prayers and chants. I count myself
lucky. This year I kept someone alive.
(to Alejandro) When will I see you? This time
this life
I am wearing your
ring, the one you sent
back to me after we
quarreled
Alejandro & Wendy: Til death do us part
we are running for home