Harris Schiff

 

Grieving Aloud

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She took a long time to be able to arrive at a difficult decision that turns out to be right for both of us.

Hats off to you honey!

Good work and good luck!

I hope you give yourself an easier path than the one I am rolling down right now.

But in freedom I do feel blessed

In letting go I allow other
forces to enter and move me
along through the moments

vast continuum of moments

Now if I can just recognize and say no to every manipulative thought!

I disconnect my thoughts from your person

My heart to your heart

Love

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Back in this space it is dim
The same
Am I present?
Humble
Uh
Bitter?

Today I really want to die and am furious hateful
Being here in St. Mark’s listening to some new young persona read Frank O’Hara
Is not helping at all

O’Hara voice of sensitive privilege finding “warmth in the presence of two Puerto Ricans on the avenue”

I hear rhythms Ted completely stole and made his own
But also the annoying endless name dropping and the constant I

It is still
Dull
Bored visages across the aisles

Will there be a party?

I will not belong there nor attend

The old poems are present
And the new players
Not I
Truly lost in thought

Everything has failed miserably
City Lights
St. Mark’s
All our best words and thoughts
Tear ducts swell up
Did I really not go to “Complete Abandon” to be here?
Hoping to get something
And did.

“One of the most important performance artists in America”

“This is fake”

whatever we did it was our best



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just heard of the instant auto accident blizzard slide tree crash snow death of a 24 year old daughter of the woman upstairs who was a very close and loving mother and scheduled by me this morning to be a targeted- communication-link in my own self–centered
work-world
ass-saving
manipulations.



So what
If I never
See you again
My blue-eyed wolfcub
Stupid stupid beautiful beautiful darling



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The Christmas Party for that Company was cancelled
Evidently the young woman was
Accident-prone
Having survived a serious crash four years ago

Plastic
Surgery
Totally restored
Her good looks

Outside 12/3/2003 10:32:53 AM a light snow is now becoming heavier
a big storm is building
coming from the west where
daughter just died

Morning has now become pensive
somber
grey
and surpassingly
beautifully
cliché

I have a great deal of paper work and computer work to do