Sunnylyn Thibodeaux

by David Meltzer
Noel Young for Christopher Books, 1970


from Hidden Driveways Ahead

a ruby grapefruit
is starting to mold
in the basket
                yo la tengo
                there's a fine background

forgive it
a wall of incompetence

sky blue sequins
are the great adornment
of your name-brand
handbag -- didn't you
        there are six
new sun spots on each shoulder & one awkward
shape on the cheek
        I don't know how
to talk about them
without curiosity

did you notice
              I ate the grapefruit


the sign said
   "Ahead at Church"
    opened my eyes
    quickly, quietly

    often confusing
ocean view with
ocean beach to find
myself jumping
letters occupationally

    to speak to someone
    in case of emergency
        red rain drops
        graffiti seats
        the SS in 4 minutes
Moses riding
the escalator down, approaching
    1 car, Mission Bay
    all I still long for

            an empty seat
            a thank you
            a bottle of Hope & Grace


The transition is so suspicious
DMX playing Tommy G, and all
of a sudden, it's not
mine anymore -- the scene in my head
sitting, smoking on an ivory couch
news of suicide
that could have been my role in a movie
a dark melancholy movie
where voices are silent, the music
my own
and women in heels wear ankle bracelets
while carrying plastic bouquets of flowers


I'll take a 375 of BV
Coastal for the previews
and a full bottle of
Chateau Veronique
for the movie itself


He said he loves me
    in my fuck-me pumps
dancing to diamond dogs
old root canals & cemetery streets

heaven's on the pillow
    eyes closed, caring

the black watercolor
captures your intimacy well
mythology & stone creature
that struck me dead
tore my fishnets
        painting my face white


streets full of unrest

    look at me -- pressing
for someone,        juicy
    black lipstick crumbling &
    heels worn to the nail

because of all we've seen
because of all we've loved

one thing came to me
and I couldn't refrain
from the 24-hour service
of cash and tattoos in
chinese letters


For the Angel David

I think Luna beholds me
she comes, mimics
standing still, she is
full tonight

mother calls, says
father, the only son of his,
has received all of his belongings
she is moving on

Luna is haunting me
have these nightmares
anxiety, how to let go
hear words, see her above me

She has come for me
peers through the window
under the sheets, she is
dripping gold beads of lunacy

Sister is having a baby
at moonlight. Father
will call the child Luna
opposite of his first born

She turns grey over time
I turn off, have forgotten
the numbers to call, still
have nightmares, cold sweats

Luna cries out tonight
father returns from the dark
cradles her, the second child
needs him, the first -- mother

She is aglow, floating
over me, clouds passing
moving close, she is home
Luna becomes me

struggling, tangled in sheets
mother needs me, sister
condemns the sun. Two thousand
miles away, I am far gone
Luna is full tonight
luminous, she is
making herself aware
wailing, she is here

Two thousand miles --
over dirty streets
and lonely love, she
is still shining full

Sister is having
a baby tonight in moonlight
father closes in,
mother turns away

coming home
she needs me
sister is mothering, father
is retracing his youth

Luna comes out screaming,
beckoning, some need for
someone, give her a necklace
of gold beads, some thing

Luna becomes me
father becomes apart
mother becomes content
sister gives birth to a girl

Luna beholds me


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